The Return of the American Family

The American family is slowly coming back. Divorce rates are steadily declining as couples are finding that marriage is far better than divorce. Why is this? Well, women are realizing that a stable marriage is far better for them and their children. The allure of being a single mom has quickly subsided. Men are also finding out that a loving family is irreplaceable. A marriage gives a man and woman a purpose. Plus having a family is a fun thing. Kids give us joy that no drug can reproduce. So even in these tough economic times, a family is a worthwhile endeavor.

Indeed, we are also seeing a return of the stay at home mom. Child care today is generally more expensive than a second job. So couples are making the smarter, better choice by having mom stay home. This is a far better choice than having some nanny plop a toddler in front of a TV screen for 8 hours and call it child care. There is a revolution of family spirit in this country. As a result, we should encourage marriages to stay together by offering more tax incentives for the typical, nuclear family.

For instance, a family receives additional child credits for every third year of marriage. This would reward people for raising America’s next generation. Also, additional tax credits for every year a child passes a grade in high school. Good families deserve great rewards for sticking it out in tough economic times and raising the next generation in our great country.


Less Pills= Lower Healthcare Costs

The Republicans and the Democrats can agree about one thing. That is, healthcare costs continue to rise at an alarming rate. You can get the entire country on healthcare, but if costs continue to skyrocket so will your premiums. Both parties have a variety of ideas on how to control costs. However, there is one idea that no one is talking about. We need to remove pill popping ads from TV and the Internet. People are routinely visiting doctors because they believe something is wrong with them. Why do they believe this? Because the narcotics industry, otherwise known as the pharmaceutical industry, barrages us with the belief if we take this one drug in our life all will be good. Of course, that’s an absurdity. But people have this idea from recurrent ads which give people this ridiculous hope. Less people at the doctor’s office asking for non-essential drugs will save us billions. But doctors, lobbyists and pharmaceutical dealers won’t give up this gold mine. A good walk in the park does as many wonders, if not more, than many of these drugs you see advertised on a daily basis. As the pill popping decreases, so will healthcare costs. It’s time for both parties to get in line with this excellent idea.


The Parental Financial Bonanza

Since the beginning of time, we all know that having a child is a blessing and a responsibility.  But for some reason, having a child has now become a financial bonanza for many parents.  While most parents struggle in this difficult economy to clothe their children and put food on the table, an increasing minority of parents are making a profit off their kids.  Specifically, many parents are claiming their children are supposedly afflicted with a disability.  Once a child is diagnosed with this purported “disability,” then the parents apply and place the child on SSI disability.  Many parents can receive over $1,000 per month for their child’s disability, and many of these parents have several of their children signed up for this program.  As a result, numerous parents are raking in thousands upon thousands of tax free dollars per month.  That is why so many of these “loving” parents make a mad dash to have their kids diagnosed with ADHD or some other supposed disability.  A program that was once limited for children with cerebral palsy is now open to a gamut of supposed disabilities.  It’s painfully obvious why this country has accumulated 17 trillion dollars in debt.  This nonsense must stop.

Again, a child is a blessing and a responsibility – a parent’s responsibility!  The SSI program was not created so parents could obtain a financial windfall in having a baby.  Of course, this federal program will go broke if we have such ridiculous standards.  If you have a child, it is your financial responsibility.  It’s not mine.  It certainly is not the government’s responsibility.


There is only 1 Mr. President!

When did we become an elitist society? Have you noticed every ex-President is called Mr. President or President so and so. This is absurd. We are Americans. We are not a people of titles. Americans don’t have dukes, earls and viscounts. So why does a former President get a permanent title? The Presidency is not a title. It is an office. Once you are out of office you once again become Mr. so and so. This elitist deviancy, which is not found in our national DNA, is creeping up everywhere. You have one term Senators who are inevitably referred to as Senator even though they left office more than 20 years ago! Likewise, a retired Judge who left the bench 30 years ago and who is handling traffic court cases insists on being called Judge so and so.

This has to stop. A President is like a wife. You only have one at a time. The only person who should be referred to as President is President Obama. He is the only person who should be afforded this designation- for now.


Smart People Need to Breed

The MTV awards, as pathetically usual, went for pure shock value with the Miley Cyrus fiasco last month.  Ms. Cyrus, who has the sexual energy of a broom, gyrated herself into awards show infamy.  It was a sad spectacle.  However, from most low points, we learn about ourselves, and in this case, our culture.  We continue devolving as a society and Miley Cyrus’s performance is concrete proof that we spiral lower and lower every year.  So what have we learned?  We have learned that when dumb people breed they generally tend to like dumb things.  That’s why movies no longer have dialogue or any worthwhile plot.  Movies today are about explosions, chase scenes and a hail of bullets.  Our culture is increasingly catered to dumb people and somehow this has to stop.  So how does it stop?

First off, smart people have to breed like rabbits.  Sure the economy isn’t great, but that hasn’t stopped dumb people from breeding.  So if you see a dumb family with 5 kids, and you are a smart person, go for 6 kids.  It’s your duty to outbreed these people – the same people who put money in the pockets of the Kardashians, Cyruses, etc.  Only an idiot would watch TV personalities this dumb and vapid.  Second, let dumb people self-destruct.  Most dumb people make unwise life choices.  They place scalding hot coffee on the dashboard and suffer third degree burns when they hit a bump in the road and then ask a smart person to help them.  They go to a doctor, a smart person, who nurses them back to health.  Thereafter, they seek a plastic surgeon, another smart person, who prevents them from permanent scarring.  Finally, they seek a lawyer, yet another smart person, who convinces a jury that his client should be compensated for his injuries.  Smart people have a duty to tell dumb people: “You did what?”  Treat them like the adult child they are and finally explain: “You are a dumb mother******.  Sorry, I can’t help you.”


“Sit down, give up, don’t put up a fight.”- The New American Revolution

“Get up, Stand up” is a classic Bob Marley song that beckons all people to fight injustice. We have a government that spies on us and is slowly stealing our constitutional rights. Over 200 years ago, Patrick Henry decried “Give me liberty or give me death!” We Americans, at one point in time, deeply cared for our constitutional rights. Simply look back to the civil rights movement only a generation ago.  Now we readily accept the failings of our government and the systematic deprivation of our constitutional rights and individual freedoms. Isn’t this the time that we “Get up, stand up, don’t give up the fight!” Of course it is. However, most Americans don’t have the stomach for the fight. Plus, the middle class is exhausted from being overworked and underpaid to put in any fight at all.

So what is the answer? The answer is we need a new battle cry in this country. It should be “Sit down, give up, don’t put up a fight.” If most Americans will not fight our government, and clearly they will not, then we have a duty to simply give up. That is, light up your medical marijuana and start watching Seinfeld repeats throughout the day. Why fight big brother when he can help you start retirement at age 35? With this new American revolutionary spirit, our government can’t afford to spy on us. With such a revolutionary attitude, our government couldn’t afford a light bulb – an environmentally friendly LED one of course. This passive aggressive revolution is the only way Americans will fight our government. Maybe even Bob Marley would approve.


A Riot- We won’t try it!

The George Zimmerman case wrapped up last week. Clearly, this was a highly controversial case. Many Americans do not agree with the verdict- and I happen to be one of them. However, the media has now used this case as a litmus test for race relations in America. This tactic is absurd. Even more absurd is the media’s heavy handed attempt to ignite a race war in this country. Luckily, these desperate attempts have resoundingly failed. Why? Because America in 2013 is not America in 1992 when the city of Los Angeles erupted in riots. We are a far different country some 20 years ago.  The media simply forgets this and seems hellbent on causing mass riots in this country.

This is a new world order. You see it everywhere you go in this great country. Blacks, Whites, Latinos and every race under the sun intermingle and connect with one another. Indeed, many of these people not only intermingle but marry each other. The media is simply barking up the wrong tree. Again, this is a new world order where the best golfer in the world is black (Tiger Woods) and the heavyweight champion of the world is white (Klitschko). And by the way who happens to be the most powerful man in the world? Barack Obama. Enough said.

It’s funny, but I once thought that Chris Rock was the funniest person in the world. Now I find his jokes to be stale and old- like a cracker. It’s going to be a real hot summer and you know what that means. A white man is going to pass a beer to a black friend while we all stay nice and cool this summer. One tragic event does not define or ignite a nation.


The “Mistaken” Charge- oops Corporate America did it again.

The average American is increasingly fighting with corporate America over chicken poop charges that are inevitably finding themselves on our bills. Cable companies charge us for movies we have never seen. Utility companies over estimate bills when workers fail to show up on the meter reading date. The list goes on and on.

We consistently fight with these companies over these “mistaken” charges, but in the end they always win. Why? Even if the charges are removed, you have wasted your precious time and suffered the needless aggravation of fighting over this “mistaken” charge. In the end, you corrected a bill that should have been correct in the first place. That does not constitute a win. You haven’t won anything. Meanwhile the companies get to keep the money from the customers that don’t complain.

How do we stop these “mistaken” charges from appearing on our bills? Easy answer. Each time a company places a “mistaken” charge on a bill the consumer is rewarded with a credit 4 times the supposed “mistake”.  As a result, the $5 movie you didn’t order now becomes a $20 credit on your bill. The “oops I did it again mistake” will become a thing of the past if this policy is implemented.


The End of Commercial TV coming Soon

Hopefully, the end of commercial TV is coming soon. How much longer can we Americans suffer through commercials that solely deal with the male penis? It seems that every other commercial has a former athlete, usually a football star, and he explains to you how his product will help penile performance. The other half of commercials deal with women battling depression. TV is supposed to uplift the human spirit. A form of escapism that allows us to escape the pressures of everyday life. At least that’s what it supposed to be. Indeed, the average American turns on the TV and is inundated with commercials that doubt your bodily functions and mental acuity. After three hours of commercial TV, the average 45 year old American male begins to questions his piss flow and whether he is in the early stages of dementia.

Luckily, we soon won’t have to suffer with commercial TV much longer. With the advent of internet TV and other devices, we can soon bypass these depressing and alarming commercials which overrun our airwaves. You want to watch a program then simply click and watch your show in commercial free bliss. That is the future of TV and we are all the better for it. Just get ready to see 200 blimps everyday as you walk to work. The advertisers won’t give up that easy.


The Green Movement- The Big Step Backwards for the Average American

The Green movement in America has failed. Why? Because it has not produced any material benefits to the consumer. We conserve energy, as our government urges us to do, but our utility bills continue to rise. If this disturbing trend continues, Americans will abandon the Green movement altogether. Here is the simple truth. Utility companies are not going to take in less revenue to appease the government. These utility companies are in the pursuit of making more money for themselves. Thus, as we conserve energy utility companies clamor and often get higher rates. The math is real simple here. The less energy we use (conservation) then the less the utility company can make- unless the utility company obtains a higher rate. The higher rates ensure that the consumers sacrifice in using less energy is not rewarded.

Obviously, the average American rightfully questions the aim of the Green movement if their utility bills remain high or get even higher. There is no point to the Green movement unless the consumer is rewarded with a lower bill. If a person uses less power then their bill should be lower as well. Ultimately, we are guaranteeing a reduction in our standard of living for no discernible reason. As a result, the Green movement will lose its current appeal and be abandoned by the American public. You cannot call a movement progress when Americans will soon be lounging in 80 degree living rooms for the sake of a movement while their bills only get higher. That’s not a movement that’s a step backwards.